On States of Mind

Being aware of the times when our mind is less functional, can help us avoid regrettable mistakes.

Why do we do something and regret doing it later? Why do we often wonder how we could ever have fallen into that trap, and how did we allow ourselves to repeat that mistake, since we clearly know better?

Not all mistakes can be explained by saying that we didn’t have the right information at the right time. One's state of mind needs to be checked.

To help explain this behavior, we need to examine the state of mind we are in when we make such mistakes. Not surprisingly, you'll find a pattern. Late at night? Tired? After a long drive? After upsetting news at work?

If we wish to stop making such mistakes, we have to develop awareness of these states, and understand that once we get into one of them, we are already primed to make or repeat our mistakes. Simply put, these are the times we don't know better, when what we already know doesn't help us make the right decisions, and when our regret for our past faults doesn't prevent us from repeating them.

How do we stop that? I don't believe there is a single answer for every one. However, the process could be similar: start by identifying the states of mind where such regrettable behaviors occur. Then develop your own triggers so that you are aware when it happens, telling yourself "Here I go again making this mistake". That gives you awareness. Next, develop your own disruption mechanisms. Go to sleep, go out, or back in. Whatever it is, try hard not to take the first step towards repeating your past behavior. Usually it’s a slippery slope, where one step leads to another. Realize that you are not in a state of mind to make a good judgement.

It's also really helpful, if you can, to solicit help from others, especially those close enough to observe your triggers, and are able to remind you, or distract you enough, to disrupt

But then, of course, you have to want to change in the first place.

Why is Ramadan Good for You?

To sustain the high you get after Ramadan is over, use prevention on the onset.

Why do we feel better during Ramadan? Is giving up eating and drinking during the day the sole cause for such positive feelings?

Perhaps, but there is probably more to it. Most people abstain from more than just food and water; they also stop following other desires, out of respect for the holly days. The effect of that is a calmer mind, and an abundance of time, that would have otherwise been wasted on such desires. In addition, the charitable powers of the month does increase one's sense of happiness: As research shows, people are happier when they feel they are helping others.

Abstaining from following desires, as it is performed during Ramadan, is unlike what we do any other time. We don't occasionally alter our behavior, we sustain that for a whole month. And we don't even do a little bit of it: we abstain completely, and that's key. But as the days pass after Ramadan, we slowly go back to our old habits, and it's not long before all of it comes back in fill swing.

One thing about desires is that we never attain satisfaction, no matter how much we get. One could start following their desires just a little, thinking there is no harm in that, but it seldom stops there. We easily justify to ourselves just a little bit more, and since that is not satisfying, we do a bit more, until we are finally back to where we started.

The goodness of Ramadan is that it makes us not even take the first step. And that's how we get all the benefits aforementioned. Once we take the first step, the occupation of time and mind has already taken place, and only a reset will bring the benefits back.

So, if you are not satisfied with a yearly reset, and wish to sustain more of the benefits, for a longer term, don't even take the first step. It will rarely be the only one.

The Prince, by Machiavelli

My impression about this book was not correct. From what I heard, I gathered that this book is about arts of manipulation and deception, teaching princes how to yield obedience of their subjects using immoral means. This is not quite what the book is about.
Put simply, the book teaches princes, or princes want to be-s, how to acquire and retain princedom. The means to achieve that, as outlined in the book, can not all be considered ethical nor humane. However, this characterization does not apply to all the methods. It would seem that the author was outlining a practical guide focusing on attaining the result, not attempting to define the right way based on moral or religious basis. In that sense, it can be considered brutally correct.
Is there a benefit in reading this book? Not really sure. The book offers a historical perspective, and there is a question whether the methods presented therein still apply. I'd venture that yes, most do apply, and you can find evidences of their use by contemporary politicians and rulers. However, some of the methods are indeed dated, and others are clearly influenced by the political turmoil of Italy during the 1500s. I enjoyed reading the book as a historical account, more than a means of understanding how we are being governed these days.
I believe the most beneficial is a collection of quotes from the book. So, there you go:

"But when states are acquired in a country differing in language, customs, or laws, there are difficulties, and good fortune and great energy are needed to hold them, and one of the greatest and most real helps would be that he who has acquired them should go and reside there."

"The other and better course is to send colonies to one or two places, which may be as keys to that state, for it is necessary either to do this or else to keep there a great number of cavalry and infantry. A prince does not spend much on colonies, for with little or no expense he can send them out and keep them there, and he offends a minority only of the citizens from whom he takes lands and houses to give them to the new inhabitants; and those whom he offends, remaining poor and scattered, are never able to injure him; whilst the rest being uninjured are easily kept quiet, and at the same time are anxious not to err for fear it should happen to them as it has to those who have been despoiled."

"Upon this, one has to remark that men ought either to be well treated or crushed, because they can avenge themselves of lighter injuries, of more serious ones they cannot; therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge."

".., for they knew that war is not to be avoided, but is only to be put off to the advantage of others, .."

"The wish to acquire is in truth very natural and common, and men always do so when they can, and for this they will be praised not blamed; but when they cannot do so, yet wish to do so by any means, then there is folly and blame."

"From this a general rule is drawn which never or rarely fails: that he who is the cause of another becoming powerful is ruined; because that predominancy has been brought about either by astuteness or else by force, and both are distrusted by him who has been raised to power."

"but, if once the Turk has been conquered, and routed in the field in such a way that he cannot replace his armies, there is nothing to fear but the family of this prince, and, this being exterminated, there remains no one to fear, the others having no credit with the people; and as the conqueror did not rely on them before his victory, so he ought not to fear them after it."

"Whenever those states which have been acquired as stated have been accustomed to live under their own laws and in freedom, there are three courses for those who wish to hold them: the first is to ruin them, the next is to reside there in person, the third is to permit them to live under their own laws, drawing a tribute, and establishing within it an oligarchy which will keep it friendly to you."

"But in republics there is more vitality, greater hatred, and more desire for vengeance, which will never permit them to allow the memory of their former liberty to rest; so that the safest way is to destroy them or to reside there."

"Nevertheless, he who has relied least on fortune is established the strongest."

"And in examining their actions and lives one cannot see that they owed anything to fortune beyond opportunity, which brought them the material to mould into the form which seemed best to them. Without that opportunity their powers of mind would have been extinguished, and without those powers the opportunity would have come in vain. "

"Because the innovator has for enemies all those who have done well under the old conditions, and lukewarm defenders in those who may do well under the new. This coolness arises partly from fear of the opponents, who have the laws on their side, and partly from the incredulity of men, who do not readily believe in new things until they have had a long experience of them."

"Hence it is that all armed prophets have conquered, and the unarmed ones have been destroyed."

"Therefore, he who considers it necessary to secure himself in his new principality, to win friends, to overcome either by force or fraud, to make himself beloved and feared by the people, to be followed and revered by the soldiers, to exterminate those who have power or reason to hurt him, to change the old order of things for new, to be severe and gracious, magnanimous and liberal, to destroy a disloyal soldiery and to create new, to maintain friendship with kings and princes in such a way that they must help him with zeal and offend with caution, cannot find a more lively example than the actions of this man."

"He who believes that new benefits will cause great personages to forget old injuries is deceived."

"Yet it cannot be called talent to slay fellow-citizens, to deceive friends, to be without faith, without mercy, without religion; such methods may gain empire, but not glory."

"Nevertheless, his barbarous cruelty and inhumanity with infinite wickedness do not permit him to be celebrated among the most excellent men."

"I believe that this follows from severities being badly or properly used. Those may be called properly used, if of evil it is possible to speak well, that are applied at one blow and are necessary to one's security, and that are not persisted in afterwards unless they can be turned to the advantage of the subjects."

"Hence it is to be remarked that, in seizing a state, the usurper ought to examine closely into all those injuries which it is necessary for him to inflict, and to do them all at one stroke so as not to have to repeat them daily; and thus by not unsettling men he will be able to reassure them, and win them to himself by benefits. He who does otherwise, either from timidity or evil advice, is always compelled to keep the knife in his hand; neither can he rely on his subjects, nor can they attach themselves to him, owing to their continued and repeated wrongs. For injuries ought to be done all at one time, so that, being tasted less, they offend less; benefits ought to be given little by little, so that the flavour of them may last longer."

"Because men, when they receive good from him of whom they were expecting evil, are bound more closely to their benefactor;"

"... and there will always be in doubtful times a scarcity of men whom he can trust. For such a prince cannot rely upon what he observes in quiet times, when citizens have need of the state, because then every one agrees with him; they all promise, and when death is far distant they all wish to die for him; but in troubled times, when the state has need of its citizens, then he finds but few. And so much the more is this experiment dangerous, inasmuch as it can only be tried once. Therefore a wise prince ought to adopt such a course that his citizens will always in every sort and kind of circumstance have need of the state and of him, and then he will always find them faithful."

"..., for men are always adverse to enterprises where difficulties can be seen, and it will be seen not to be an easy thing to attack one who has his town well fortified, and is not hated by his people."

"For it is the nature of men to be bound by the benefits they confer as much as by those they receive. Therefore, if everything is well considered, it will not be difficult for a wise prince to keep the minds of his citizens steadfast from first to last, when he does not fail to support and defend them."

"Mercenaries and auxiliaries are useless and dangerous; and if one holds his state based on these arms, he will stand neither firm nor safe; for they are disunited, ambitious, and without discipline, unfaithful, valiant before friends, cowardly before enemies; they have neither the fear of God nor fidelity to men, and destruction is deferred only so long as the attack is; for in peace one is robbed by them, and in war by the enemy."

"Auxiliaries, which are the other useless arm, are employed when a prince is called in with his forces to aid and defend, as was done by Pope Julius in the most recent times; for he, having, in the enterprise against Ferrara, had poor proof of his mercenaries, turned to auxiliaries, and stipulated with Ferdinand, King of Spain, for his assistance with men and arms. These arms may be useful and good in themselves, but for him who calls them in they are always disadvantageous; for losing, one is undone, and winning, one is their captive."

"And if it be urged that whoever is armed will act in the same way, whether mercenary or not, I reply that when arms have to be resorted to, either by a prince or a republic, then the prince ought to go in person and perform the duty of a captain; the republic has to send its citizens, and when one is sent who does not turn out satisfactorily, it ought to recall him, and when one is worthy, to hold him by the laws so that he does not leave the command."

"But the scanty wisdom of man, on entering into an affair which looks well at first, cannot discern the poison that is hidden in it, ..."

"I conclude, therefore, that no principality is secure without having its own forces;"

"A prince ought to have no other aim or thought, nor select anything else for his study, than war and its rules and discipline; for this is the sole art that belongs to him who rules, and it is of such force that it not only upholds those who are born princes, but it often enables men to rise from a private station to that rank."

"for a man who wishes to act entirely up to his professions of virtue soon meets with what destroys him among so much that is evil."

"Hence it is necessary for a prince wishing to hold his own to know how to do wrong, and to make use of it or not according to necessity."

"Therefore it is wiser to have a reputation for meanness which brings reproach without hatred, than to be compelled through seeking a reputation for liberality to incur a name for rapacity which begets reproach with hatred."

"Therefore a prince, so long as he keeps his subjects united and loyal, ought not to mind the reproach of cruelty; because with a few examples he will be more merciful than those who, through too much mercy, allow disorders to arise, from which follow murders or robberies; for these are wont to injure the whole people, whilst those executions which originate with a prince offend the individual only."

"Upon this a question arises: whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved? It may be answered that one should wish to be both, but, because it is difficult to unite them in one person, it is much safer to be feared than loved, when, of the two, either must be dispensed with."

"Returning to the question of being feared or loved, I come to the conclusion that, men loving according to their own will and fearing according to that of the prince, a wise prince should establish himself on that which is in his own control and not in that of others; he must endeavour only to avoid hatred, as is noted."

"Therefore, it is necessary to be a fox to discover the snares and a lion to terrify the wolves"

"Therefore a wise lord cannot, nor ought he to, keep faith when such observance may be turned against him, and when the reasons that caused him to pledge it exist no longer. If men were entirely good this precept would not hold, but because they are bad, and will not keep faith with you, you too are not bound to observe it with them."

"But it is necessary to know well how to disguise this characteristic, and to be a great pretender and dissembler; and men are so simple, and so subject to present necessities, that he who seeks to deceive will always find someone who will allow himself to be deceived."

"Therefore it is unnecessary for a prince to have all the good qualities I have enumerated, but it is very necessary to appear to have them. And I shall dare to say this also, that to have them and always to observe them is injurious, and that to appear to have them is useful; to appear merciful, faithful, humane, religious, upright, and to be so, but with a mind so framed that should you require not to be so, you may be able and know how to change to the opposite."

"From this one can draw another important conclusion, that princes ought to leave affairs of reproach to the management of others, and keep those of grace in their own hands."

"because I do not believe that factions can ever be of use; rather it is certain that when the enemy comes upon you in divided cities you are quickly lost, because the weakest party will always assist the outside forces and the other will not be able to resist."

"For this reason many consider that a wise prince, when he has the opportunity, ought with craft to foster some animosity against himself, so that, having crushed it, his renown may rise higher."

"And this question can be reasoned thus: the prince who has more to fear from the people than from foreigners ought to build fortresses, but he who has more to fear from foreigners than from the people ought to leave them alone."

"Nevertheless, not to extinguish our free will, I hold it to be true that Fortune is the arbiter of one-half of our actions, but that she still leaves us to direct the other half, or perhaps a little less."

"I conclude, therefore that, fortune being changeful and mankind steadfast in their ways, so long as the two are in agreement men are successful, but unsuccessful when they fall out. For my part I consider that it is better to be adventurous than cautious, because fortune is a woman, and if you wish to keep her under it is necessary to beat and ill-use her; and it is seen that she allows herself to be mastered by the adventurous rather than by those who go to work more coldly. She is, therefore, always, woman-like, a lover of young men, because they are less cautious, more violent, and with more audacity command her."

All quotes above are from a translation by W. K. Marriott, obtained via Project Gutenberg.

Blessed Hunger

Fasting can be inconvenient. The feeling of hunger can be distracting, and it can be amplified, because of the extra time created by the removal of the usual activities of lunch, snacking, and coffee breaks.
That is, since food is not only a hunger remedy, but also a reason to take a break, enjoy the good taste, and get one's mind off work, fasting frees more time, which can make you even more self conscious.
But let's consider the upside: fasting is very liberating. You have more time to do more useful things. And it does more than that, since it triggers a lot of positive energy.
Every time such a feeling of discomfort occurs, we are reminded of the purpose of fasting. And this discomfort, by itself, increases our benefit from the fast.
This is actually the point. This is how we are reminded of the feelings of the less fortunate. If fasting isn't inconvenient, it will not achieve this end.
Fasting, as it happens, is a great force of goodness. During the month of Ramadan, the drive for good is naturally heightened. It's hard to miss the air of positive energy, and people's increased tendency to avoid the bad, and enjoin the good.
Thus, one has to wonder, if this all stems from this feeling of blessed hunger.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Finished reading "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" few months back.
An interesting book. The main take out for me was the concept of uniting one with the work he/she is doing. The state of harmony, of pure problem solving, that is free from impatience and anxiety.
The book also contains a bit of a tutorial for some philosophical concepts. The book is not exactly a primer of philosophy, nor a story telling narrative. It's a bit of a mix between the two. And it seems to me that the author also wanted to tell his own side of his life story, providing perhaps justifications and/or explanation.

Through Wikipedia, I found the text for the book.

Introducing QuranTopics.com

QuranTopics.com is a website for assembling and sharing Quranic topics. If you've ever searched the Quran for all the ayat relating to a certain topic, this website allows you to save your search results for future reference, as well as share it with others.
The way it operates is very simple. First you choose a title for the topic. Then, you add the ayat you gathered using the sura and aya numbers. Once saved, the topic can be viewed from the front page. The url for the topic can be shared and viewed by everyone.
A search box is available that allows the user to search for topics containing a specific word. It's currently limited to exact matches on whole words.
To be able to add topics, logging in is required. The website uses Google accounts for user authentication. When you click the log in link, You'll be directed to Google's log in page, in which you can log in with your Google account. You can also create a new Google account from this page. After logging in, you'll be redirected back to the website.
The user will be able to edit and/or delete the topics he/she created, but not those created by other users.
It is worth mentioning that there are many good websites offering Quranic topics and ayat classifications. This website is not meant to compete with any of them. If a topic is already covered, there should be no need to recreate it in here. This website can be a medium where new topics can be created and shared.
One simple rule though, the topics created on this website have to conform to the proper teachings of Quran, and should not be speculative or interpretive in any way.
Go ahead and give it a try, and please send any ideas or feedback to the email group, the link for which can be found on the website.

About the News Media

Michael D Robinson, my colleague at ThoughtWorks, mentioned the quote below, which I found quite crystallizing:

News is a business. It's the business of selling consumers to advertisers. It's the business of creating stories that attract consumers to advertising. And consumers, generally speaking, are not attracted to stories that tell them that everything they think they know about the world is wrong. Publishers, editors, and reporters conduct their work accordingly.

Replicas of me

Sometimes I wonder how the world would be if everyone was a replica of me. Would it be a better place?
I'd like to think so. But for that to happen, I'd have to be good to myself. I'd have to be understanding, accommodating and cooperative, or I won't like it.
Thinking this way gives me a simple frame of reference to guide my actions, towards the greater good, and towards myself. If my actions would negatively impact me, if I was on the receiving end, then I shouldn't do it, and vice versa.
It is true that if an action of mine would make the condition of some people, in a world that is inhabited by replicas of me, worse, then it's a bad action. The effect should be considered on everyone. Something that benefits only a few on the expense of others will not work, since I could be anyone of those affected.
There is a caveat, however. Having everyone be a replica of me is nice and everything, but for it to have a meaningful impact on my actions, it has to apply in a world where it doesn't.
I can't decide what's good for others. I can barely do it for myself. Oftentimes things go exactly as I planned, only to my own disappointment. But I am the most reliable measure I have.
And sometimes I wonder what would happen if I was on the other side of the wall, born and raised to believe and behave differently, and to think of myself, on this side of the wall, as the enemy. What if I had the power and the arms to defeat and kill me, should I do it? After all, I honestly believe I'm right. My actions are justified and blessed by my belief system, and I don't see anything wrong with it.
But Should I?

Behind glass doors

It was not the first time I see it, but this time, something felt wrong. I watched, as I waited for my flight at the airport terminal, the view of people gathering inside a small room with all glass doors. There was a lot of activity going in and out of the room, but still, the room seemed very confining.
I wondered how it felt looking at the outside wide space from the inside. I know I wouldn't like it. I wondered if it was an act of consideration from the designers of the room to make it with all glass walls and doors. But on the other hand, if you're inside, your confinement is displayed, and you will get a constant reminder of what you're missing outside.
And it's not just at the airport. Similar confinements and acts of isolation and rejection are all but widespread. This is a clear discrimination. To be confined to certain designated areas, or asked to leave a building, to stand out in the cold, aren't exactly the most considerate things to do to fellow human beings. It just doesn't feel right.
Oh, and on a related note, there seems to be a flaw in the design of these designated rooms. They are not well isolated from the air outside. You can smell the smoke if you walk by. We just can't accept that, can we?

Why Have Children?

Children are expensive. They need money, effort, and time. They keep you busy, worried, and sometimes even get you in trouble. They restrain your schedule, and I am going to stop at that, for a good reason.
But you know, even though, people keep having them. There must be very compelling reasons. Here are some of what I noticed.
People may have children because:
* They feel lonely and need to fill their lives.
These people may have problems once their kids go to school, and much more when they finally move out. They can solve this problem, of course, by having more children.
* They fear loneliness when they grow old.
Some of these are heading for disappointment.
* To fill some emotional void.
This works great. When you have children, you get to live their lives with them, whether you, or they, like it or not.
* Children are a force of life, and are a life on their own right.
This is the most amazing. When people have children, they get reasons to live, work hard, and sacrifice time, money, and effort. Not only do children live, they also spread life. You can't put a price on this.
* They serve a higher purpose, more than just themselves.
This is just what it is. When you subscribe to this reason, you don't care how high the cost may be. Whatever pleasure or satisfaction you get, albeit welcomed, are only side effects. This is my reason.