On States of Mind

Being aware of the times when our mind is less functional, can help us avoid regrettable mistakes.

Why do we do something and regret doing it later? Why do we often wonder how we could ever have fallen into that trap, and how did we allow ourselves to repeat that mistake, since we clearly know better?

Not all mistakes can be explained by saying that we didn’t have the right information at the right time. One's state of mind needs to be checked.

To help explain this behavior, we need to examine the state of mind we are in when we make such mistakes. Not surprisingly, you'll find a pattern. Late at night? Tired? After a long drive? After upsetting news at work?

If we wish to stop making such mistakes, we have to develop awareness of these states, and understand that once we get into one of them, we are already primed to make or repeat our mistakes. Simply put, these are the times we don't know better, when what we already know doesn't help us make the right decisions, and when our regret for our past faults doesn't prevent us from repeating them.

How do we stop that? I don't believe there is a single answer for every one. However, the process could be similar: start by identifying the states of mind where such regrettable behaviors occur. Then develop your own triggers so that you are aware when it happens, telling yourself "Here I go again making this mistake". That gives you awareness. Next, develop your own disruption mechanisms. Go to sleep, go out, or back in. Whatever it is, try hard not to take the first step towards repeating your past behavior. Usually it’s a slippery slope, where one step leads to another. Realize that you are not in a state of mind to make a good judgement.

It's also really helpful, if you can, to solicit help from others, especially those close enough to observe your triggers, and are able to remind you, or distract you enough, to disrupt

But then, of course, you have to want to change in the first place.